Some Words of Wisdom

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Your kid may be an honor s... [cały ->]

Mental Health Patient

It was dusk time when a man had a flat tire right in front of a mental health hospital. After unscrewing the four nuts of the flat tire, he noticed that a hospital patient is watching him from over a nearby embankment. He managed to step on the hubca... [cały ->]

Message To Mom

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!" To that the man... [cały ->]

I'd Love To But...(Pt II)

More goofy excuses you can use to get out of going somewhere you just don't wanna go to. I'D LOVE TO BUT... ...I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it. ...I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products. ...I have to floss m... [cały ->]

True Gender of Object

Mirrors are female because none of their reflections are really their own. Stamps are female because men like to lick them, stick them, and then send them away. Windows are male because they're a pane, and because you can see through them. S... [cały ->]

Up, or down?

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had ... [cały ->]

Nutty Problem

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane asylum that is known for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psych... [cały ->]

Skydiving

Why do girls have to where a cup when they skydive? So they dont whistle!... [cały ->]

Adjust the Chair

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth. "Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out!" says the dentist. "Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady. "In that case, let me a... [cały ->]

I'm glad I'm a woman

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections. I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. A... [cały ->]

The skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts!... [cały ->]

4 Doctors talk Politics!

An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one ... [cały ->]

Black and White, and Red all over?

What is Black and White, and Red all over? Answer: A Skunk with a diaper rash.... [cały ->]

Retractions by the NY Times in 1998

The Top 13 Retractions Printed by the NY Times in 1998 13 "Correction: The cookie recipe in question cost $350, not $250 as previously reported." 12 "Earlier this year, the Times mistakenly reported that software magnate Bill Gates is a money-h... [cały ->]

Blonde and her job interview...

A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying "Ehhhh... 22!" The inte... [cały ->]